Gasp!

5/26: The Real Deal

Ginger says: “If you can renovate an entire house in three days, there’s something wrong with you if you can’t get the server runnin’ in two weeks.”

America asks: Has anyone at Trademark ever tried to get tech support on the phone?

How I Found Happiness in Theater Again

Two big things happened last week. I finished a final rewrite of a play and I renewed my Dramatist Guild membership.

This will undoubtedly shock those of you who remember the subtext of my 2005/6 Gasp entries: I quit. I quit theater. I quit playwriting and by the way, fuck off.

So what happened to change my mind?

5/19/07: The Real Deal

This week, Richard tells us that time is not on his side. Honey, it never is.

Career Advice and Your Magic Time Machine

If you could go back in time and give yourself career advice, what would it be?

I'd go back to my college days, when I first started writing for theater. I'd tell myself not to be so trusting of everyone. The people who I thought were my friends, weren't.

I'd also tell myself that success doesn't give you respect from other people. It won't make you a better person; in fact, sometimes it can make people worse!

I'd tell myself that people who are successful today aren't necessarily successful tomorrow. There are highs and lows. I was often awed by people back then who had high-powered agents and egos to match. I was intimidated easily. I'm often amazed at how many "successful" people back then have disappeared career-wise. I wonder why that happens?

I'd tell myself to follow my creativity and my intuition. I thought that I could only do one thing - theater - and dismissed all other creative aspects to myself.

I'd tell myself to find a way around taking out so many student loans.

I'd tell myself to concentrate on being a good writer, instead of outward trappings of success.

I'd tell myself to write about topics I love, instead of what I think would be interesting to other people.

I'd tell myself that there is no room for suffering in the life of a writer - I'll get enough suffering just being one. Heh...

I'd tell myself that "paying dues" simply means getting good. Don't purposely look for rejection.

I'd tell myself to have self-respect. Anyone with power who asks you to do something that is inappropriate won't help you career-wise anyway, so it's useless to do it. Even if it's tempting...

I'd tell myself not to be so rigid, dump that man, pay the bills, figure out a day job you like, and for goodness sake, quit being so intimidated by people!

Your turn...

More on Debt and Writing

Pat Gabridge elaborates on finances and writing. As Chris has suggested, I plan on blogging my experiences paying off my debt. I haven't officially enrolled in Financial Peace University yet, though I paid for a lifetime membership during my Dave Ramsey experience. Jethro and I will do it. We both have those little financial organizers that designed for the program. I unwrapped mine this weekend, and gave the other one to him. We chatted for a while about it. Figuring out a budget will be key.

I have a feeling that starting it is the hardest part, though Baby Step #1 shouldn't be a problem for me. I'm almost there anyway.

Throughout my life as a writer, I've had periods of money and periods of poverty. Neither has taught me how to deal with money. Poverty is no way to live.

I also don't buy the idea that I have to settle for poverty to do what I want in life. Yes, that includes theater.

More progress as we figure out what the heck we're doing, and how the heck we're doing it.

5/12: The Real Deal

Renovating Sgt. Carl Cannon’s House

It has finally dawned on me that Ginger is a co-star. During the intro, they use the phrase, “His protégé Ginger.” Calling someone a protégé is Trademark Talk for “co-star.”

Oh....

So the proper answer to “Why is Ginger in every episode?” would be something like “That’s a dumb question.”

The Dave Ramsey Experience

Going to see Dave Ramsey last night was very cool. As I mentioned yesterday, he's the "Get out of Debt" guru. His show is part self-help, part entertainment and part motivational coaching. The whole evening is grounded in a seven step program. He also talked a great deal about how American Culture is saturated with a debt mentality. Ain't that the truth...

It also brings debt out in the open. If you see him live, you're sitting with a few thousand other folks in the same position. That's heartening.

What I came away from the show is this: You don't have to be poor to live within a budget. I don't know where I got the idea that only rich people could live within their means.

Jethro and I used the evening as a sort of pre-marital financial counseling session. Our ideas about money aren't far apart, so bringing him to the event was nothing. He's very open to new ideas and pretty much agreed with everything Dave said already. And he already practices a great deal of it, so there you go.

The show made me reflect on how writers often settle for being poor, especially theater folks. I also wondered about the wisdom of going to a *really expensive* university to study something that is saturated in poverty. An office manager for a theater company makes 20K-30K a year. Back in the 90s, I was responsible for working on a compensation study for nonprofits in California. I'm well aware of the salaries issues for nonprofits, and theaters usually fell on the low end of that spectrum. It's one of the reasons I never picked up a job in a nonprofit theater. I couldn't afford it, especially with the debt load from college.

Not only would my life be different if I was debt-free, but my writing would also be different. I'd have more time, for one thing. I could use the money I make to fund my writing project rather than my payments to debtors.

So, there it is. I enrolled in Financial Peace University, mostly to learn how to handle money. (Insurance? Wills? Whaaaa?) This will not be the last you hear about debt, the arts, and me. Time to grow up.

Bottom line: It wasn't one of those cheesy enpowerment exercises. Nor was it a rip-off. I highly recommend him to anyone. If you can't see him in person, at least listen to him on the radio.

Debt!

Jethro and I are going to see Dave Ramsey tonight. He's a "get rid of debt" guru. I'm the one who is most excited about our adventure, since Jethro doesn't believe in credit cards or the like.

When I lived in NYC, I bought the party line that going into debt for my theater career was a sign that I had confidence. Yes, I even read a how-to book on theater that encouraged people to go into debt.

So I did, and what I found is this: It doesn't help. It tied me to jobs I didn't like, preventing me from doing the things I wanted to do. Plus, I had less time to write in the long run.

Since leaving NYC, I've seen the folly of debt. It doesn't do any good to owe anything to anyone if you can help it.

Throughout history, a number of writers have dealt with debt. They either haven't made enough money from writing or they extended themselves a little too far. Edmund Wilson comes to my mind, only because he's a southern writer who bounced in and out of NYC during a certain point in his life.

The good part about dealing with debt is that I value my writing more. It has made me go out and search for paying writing jobs. I've had to take my writing more seriously as a result. Otherwise, I would spend all day at home, writing stories and plays that only I care about.

Maybe at some point I'll go back to that. Meanwhile, I am a firm believer that the less debt you have, the better for your writing. But that's just my opinion...

Review: Hallelujah, Alabama!

I didn't mention it on Sunday, but my review of Robert Ely's novel, "Hallelujah, Alabama!" was in The Birmingham News. Thank goodness for online links.

Writing and Spirituality

A few weeks ago, I began thinking about the role spirituality had in my own writing. I've had a long attraction to writers who integrate their brand of spirituality into their work. Writers like T.S. Eliot, Natalie Goldberg, Hildegard Von Bingen, and Alice Walker have earned my admiration because they search for the meaning of life on their terms.

To me, one of the most important qualities of being a writer/artist is to remain teachable and keep an open mind. I think that's probably why I'm disappointed at the quality of the discussion going on right now about theater and religion.

So here's what I'd prefer to talk about: How do your spiritual beliefs figure into your work? If you believe in God or Gods, does it play a role in your work? Are you inspired by that? How exactly does it work for you?

If you don't believe in a higher being or spirit, how does that figure into your writing?

For me, I'm a bit more of a hippy than I'd care to admit. I spent most of my 20s in San Francisco, so I've been exposed to most alternate forms of spirituality. I've called myself a number of different things through the years. Yes, I attended - and graduated - from a seminary, but it was an unconventional one. The most important quality about my years there was allowing others to have their own beliefs.

I've already mentioned how my spirituality plays into my writing. I do believe there is a God, but I also respect that others don't.

So comments are open. I think we can talk about this in an adult and calm fashion. I don't want anyone attacking anyone else over their beliefs. And if you'd like to be anonymous, feel free.

5/5: The Real Deal

Disclaimer: I'm not associated with Trademark Properties, Richard Davis, A&E, TLC, or anything else connected with anything else. I'm just a girl watching a show. And that's that.

Summary: One of those get to know the whole team episodes. An odd one though, as it appears some things couldn’t be discussed. Still, we saw almost everyone this time. Dawn, Lori and Vance finally appear in the series.

Testing Yourself

Despite all of the outside validation, ten years ago I didn’t feel like a writer. I felt like I lacked certain experience, but I couldn’t figure out what I needed. More rejection? Maybe I needed more doubt.

Silly, but I’ve always been skeptical about writers who experience early success. Would they still write if they didn’t have encouragement? If critics hated their work, would they continue to write?

I didn’t know if I would be able to withstand rejection. Sometimes, over the past ten years, I’ve purposely looked for rejection. I’ve set myself up for failure as a test.

Do you have doubts about your work?
Have you ever tested yourself?

Replenishing

Ten years ago, I made a decision to heal my creativity. It felt like the flow just wasn't there. The river was in past time, my perspective had changed and it needed to be brought into the present.

I remember that my creative rehab became the sole focus for a while It began with meditation and visualization healing work. I dug deep and addressed some wounds that I had sustained. I read (and did) Julia Cameron's The Artist Way. I painted, wove poetry and collaged my fears and blocks.

After that, I made a decision to look at my scrutinize my life. I wrote my life story, looked at past interactions, and discovered patterns that were making me unhappy.

When I finished with all of that, I surfed an unforgettable wave of creativity. I also experienced a profound sense of peace.

Ten years is a long time, and much has happened between then and now. I finished a major project exactly a year ago. It felt like an ending; a form of expression was finished.

Now, it's time again. Time for a creative rehabilitation. Time to look at what my relationship is with writing, to re-own my creativity. Its time to assess the past decade as well, to assign meaning to what's taken place.

As my spine undergoes its daily realignment at the chiropractor, so must everything else I guess. That's probably what Louise Hay would say. The physical is merely a symptom of the emotional, mental and spiritual.

So that's my writing project, for the time being. I do have the urge to start new projects, but I'm afraid that I'll simply be going to the same old well again.

What do you do to replenish your creativity?