6/2: The Real Deal

While our satellite schedule calls it “Real Estate Pros,” rest assured, it is still The Real Deal.

(At least for this week...)

The episode opens with Richard making small talk with employees from his company. In particular, the camera lingers on a big blond guy. Pay attention friends. He’s an important person, disguising himself as a background player.

Richard drives the car while Ginger rides in the back seat.. They look at a house he bought 15 years ago. This is a four unit complex, which for our purposes, will be called The Quad. Ginger lived at The Quad while she interned with Trademark. She thought she would get a corporate apartment, but living at The Quad worked out well.

(What is a corporate apartment? Do interns get corporate apartments? During my theater internships, I made no money and nearly got my phone shut off for lack of payment.. I think I picked the wrong profession.)

John lived at The Quad as well, so he and Ginger hung out together.. John used Richard’s Amex cards for parties. Richard says that he never used to go to the parties because he was too busy working. As Richard leaves The Quad, he says that he hasn’t been in the building since he bought it 15 years ago. Which means he never visited his brother when he lived there. Not even for holidays.

(I don’t fault Richard for this, however, because I’m 110% certain he busted his ass those early years. As a fellow workaholic, I empathize. Maybe that’s why Richard is focused on helping other people now.)

The Quad is rundown and needs sprucing. Since one unit is vacant, Richard and Ginger decide to renovate it. The leases for the rest of the units will be up shortly, so all of the units will be redone within the next six months.

It needs cosmetic changes and landscaping. The Quad is near a marsh, but you’d never know it by the overgrown trees. Ginger says that the units are currently listed at $600 a unit. The target rent after the renovation is $1000 a month. 4 days to renovate, just so they can get cash flowing from the property again.

After the commercial
“Wake it up, Shake it up, Break it up,” Richard says. He breaks the windows out so Ginger will have to change them. The popcorn ceilings will have to go because, as he always says, popcorn ceilings date a house. “When in doubt, scrape it out,” he exclaims. Is Richard channeling Mohammed Ali?

Carlos finds mildew on the lower half of the brick building. Ginger calls it her first setback, because now they have to wait to paint the exterior. At the appliance store, Ginger finds a bodybuilder named Tim very helpful. He works at the store and is more than happy to do his job when Ginger’s there. Wow, look at those muscles!

Next, Ginger visits the flooring store. Are they going to use that weird laminate flooring? No, no, no! Ginger asks the salesman if she can get it installed today and he nearly chokes. Then, he appears to reluctantly agree.

As luck would have it, the Charleston Trident Home Builders Association is having an Expo. Richard and Ginger go to the expo and ask the window experts if windows could be installed today. Everyone tells them that they need a six week lead time. Don’t they know that Expo people are never helpful?

Meanwhile, back at The Quad, everyone is hard at work. Oops, Ginger forgot to get landscapers. Ginger and Richard grab their respective blackberries and begin making calls. Vinyl arrives from the store but unfortunately, someone runs over it with a truck. Double Oops! It now has tire tracks on it.

Ginger allows all the subs to go home at dusk so they can be well-rested for a lot of work tomorrow.

Day 3
2 Days until move in
The Carpenter is missing, but no one is terribly upset about it. Landscapers start working. One of the guys tries to toss a rope up to a worker in a tree. After several misses, the guy says, SON OF A BITCH.

They show Ginger in a lawn chair while a bull dozer dumps dirt behind her.

Carlos protests that they shouldn’t paint perfectly good brick. It makes him feel sadder and sadder each time he thinks about it. On a walk-through of the unit, Richard makes fun of the laminate floors, telling Carlos that they’re from 1979.

Commercial: That promo for Big Medicine freaks me out. It makes me feel fat and thin all at the same time. How can that be possible?

Carlos tells Richard that there’s 60% chance of rain. Richard tells him that he should try to paint during the 40%. Funny. Ginger asks Carlos to paint as much as he can today, before the rain. Carlos looks at her like she’s crazy. The rain will wash the paint away, smearing it all over the grass. But he says he’ll do it anyway.

Richard meets the tenants. Carlos works late into the evening.

Andy’s Move-in Day
Ginger tells Carlos that the building is ugly. She’s right. The grey brick is offset by a hideous yellow trim. Ginger thinks that the store gave her the wrong color. Carlos is embarrassed by the ugliness of the building. His workers turn their shirts inside out. He covers his paint truck with a tarp so no one will know that he was at the job site.

Kenny the Carpenter arrives. He demolishes the cabinets by kicking them to bits. Hard rock plays in the background. Ginger tells us that everything will be alright as long as Kenny is able to work all night. As soon as she says it, Kenny stops. The music stops. Then he says alright and the music starts again. Funny.

The cabinets are going as well. Kenny is fine with it because he doesn’t mind making money… Oh yeah, and the apartment is going to look better. Methinks Kenny likes the demo work.

After the commercial: Ginger, Richard and Carlos go back to Lowes/Home Depot-like store to get another shade for the trim. They match the paint off Carlos’ leg.

Kenny tells Richard that the windows he broke weren’t standard size so they have to special order the windows. Richard admits he shouldn’t have broken them.

Despite the threat of rain, painters coat the trim with a crisp, white color. It does make a difference.

John visits The Quad. For this episode, they tell us several times that John is Richard’s brother. John and Ginger reminisce about the good times they had in the building.

Andy packs his stuff. As he drives to his new home, he admits that he’s moving in without first seeing the place. When he arrives, Ginger smiles and tells him that the windows will have to be covered with plywood. Andy looks like a good egg. He tells us that some might say that the windows are super-clean, some might say the windows aren’t there.

The wind whips up. Painters work at getting the job done. Lightening strikes close by as Carlos is trying to clean up. The rain delays Andy’s moving day by 12 hours.

Day 5
Richard calls it an overflow day. Appliances arrive. Richard tells us that everyone feels good because everyone looks good. LOL.

Richard says that the good cabinets make the floors look even worse. He jokingly blames Ginger, but it’s with a good-natured tone. As workers continue with the landscaping, Richard points to a kid coming out of The Quad and calls him Junior. LOL.

Andy’s brother works with palm trees so Richard makes a deal with him. If he plants some palm trees, they’ll give him a break on the first month’s rent. Once again, Richard tells us he feels like he’s making a difference in the community.

Andy and his brother finish moving in. My goodness, do those two look alike or what? Andy says the whole deal has good karma.

Rent is $1200 a month, but the building is gorgeous. Richard, Ginger and John visit Andy. Richard says that the way to get rich is to hold onto properties and not necessarily flip them all.

While the credits roll, they show Kenny putting plywood on the windows. Funny.

Comments: Much, much, much infinitely better. It may have looked like a simple episode but in TV, simple is good. OMG, I sound like a TV exec.

Everyone was back when they should be. Richard was in charge and yet a complete goof. Breaking the windows might make good tv, but it’s bad for business. Still, we all know now that he does that kind of thing. We expect it. And we also expect the mea culpa in the middle of the episode as well.

The deadline was there, but it wasn’t life or death. I wasn’t stressed for them. Plus, blowing it was a nice touch.

Trademark Talk: SON OF A BITCH… Oops, no. “In the trademark world, it still has to get done.”

Questionable Moment: What was up with that lawn chair moment? Made no sense.

Did anyone notice that everyone at the company seems young?

Concern: Can someone do something about those subhead captions? They’re getting increasingly confusing. Day 3, 2 Days to move in… Too much. Just give us one factoid. Day 3, Day 2, Day 1 would be good.

Final note: My rent in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn (NY) was $850 for a one bedroom walkup. Rent stabilized. No amenities other than lack of roaches. Nice, safe, clean place. In 2004, I considered moving to the Myrtle Beach area to be closer to my parents. I know that apartments are pricy in parts of South Carolina, but $1200 to rent? Eek. I vowed I wouldn’t pay over $1000 in NYC. I just can’t see paying that much in SC. I don’t care if there’s a swamp next door… I’m sorry, I mean marsh.

Final Verdict: Excellent show.

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