I can't be the only one in the world who approaches each new writing assignment with a complete lack of confidence. Every week, as deadline looms, I sit at my desk nervously wondering if this is the week that I'll come up with absolutely nothing. Phrases that don't fit, ideas awkwardly stated, a full deck of failure.
When I write plays, I don't have these issues. I approach an assignment nervous, but excited. Sure, I have my neurotic head weirdness, but I also feel exhilarated. I don't think about rejection. I don't worry about failure. Even the times that I wrote on deadline for a public reading, like at Raw Impressions for instance, I didn't concern myself with these kinds of fears. I just listened for the characters.
Playwriting comes easily for me. It feels natural. When I decided to go in this other direction, I knew that it would be like learning a new language. That's why I started blogging years ago. I wanted to learn another form of writing.
It will get easier. I know I'm not the only one who goes through confidence issues. Discomfort means growth, so the best thing to do is keep being uncomfortable.
Playwriting comes natural to me too. Screenwriting is like giving birth to a cow.
Posted by: Adam | July 25, 2007 at 11:06 AM
Me too on the 'natural' front.
I love that you wrote your new forms are like learning a new language. I experienced screenwriting as a foreign language. When all was said and done, learning something new enhanced everything else. New still does enhance and inform what I do. Whatever the heck that is.
Personally, I'm not big on "being uncomfortable." I've spent too long learning to live within my skin and find a kind of personal stasis. I just express that anxiety differently. I call it "learning to surf the big waves."
A mentor of mine liked to repeatedly tell me, "Grow or die." That's kinda how I feel.
However it's done.
Posted by: J.D. | July 25, 2007 at 02:55 PM
Playwrighting comes natural, but not always easy. Structuring, getting lost. Screenwriting is like a game to me - very easy and fun mostly because I have absolutely no attachment to the outcome of it. I don't care if it's liked or read or produced. I send screenplays out not caring whether I get any validation. Lately, I've been thinking how great it would be if I could develop this kind of non-attachment to theater. How freeing that would be.
Blogging is hard for me. I'd like to write more content, but finding the time and then the feeling of putting raw thoughts out there or feeling like I have to constantly explain myself. It's probably good for me. I tend to be more structured in my writing. Controlling of that "textual" image of myself.
Oh, and writing my thesis is like having my wisdom teeth cut out by an army dentist.
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 25, 2007 at 03:42 PM
I'm like you, playwriting feels natural. I think that's why ultimately, it's so hard to shake (or quit, or stop, or whatever it's called).
Writing long fiction never feels as easy as writing plays, even though that's definitely where I'm headed. You put it so well--changing the forms of our writing is like learning a whole new language. The willingness to be patient with ourselves while we learn that language seems critical.
Posted by: Patrick | July 26, 2007 at 01:54 PM