Gasp!

Best of Gasp!: Evil Greeted Me on the Subway

(This entry originally appeared on 3/9/2004)

I jammed my finger over the weekend. Didn’t complain much about it today, though it hurts to type. My hand is swollen, so I won’t be long. Besides, the Charlie’s Angel’s movie is on and I have to break out my Farrah mug. That’s right. I have a Farrah Fawcett mug from the 1970’s. I got it for 25 cents at a church garage sale down South. Obviously those people don’t know hip from a leg.

Evil stared at me on the subway this morning. I spent most of the ride meditating, praying and doing everything but a rain dance. I jumped on the N train at Canal Street and a man stared at me. As soon as he caught my eye, my heart jumped out of chest. I gasped. There was nothing unusual about this guy. He was in his 20s and had a backpack over his shoulder. He kept staring at me. The doors shut. If I could’ve gotten out, I would’ve but it just wasn’t possible. I wondered if he was going to do something horrible to all of us. The thing, he wasn’t crazy. It was clear that he was evil. But again, I couldn’t tell you how I knew that.

I vowed that I would get off the subway at 14th Street if he didn’t. Fortunately, he did.

Considering the amount of people I see on the subway and streets each day, it’s a wonder I haven’t run into more evil people. Again, there was nothing unusual about this guy, other than my gut visceral reaction. I hope I never run into him again.

Best of Gasp!: Bugs

(This entry was originally written on 2/15/2005 while living in Texas.)

In the 70s, New England was hit with a massive tent caterpillar infestation. I grew up surrounded by furry worms that spun silky tents in the forked branches of trees. After building their webs, they’d feed on leaves, killing trees by the acre. In order to get rid of the caterpillars, experts would go through neighborhoods setting fire to the web tents. Caterpillars would drop to the ground, smoldering until they died. Think Hindenburg Disaster on an insect level, and you’ll have a good idea what it looked like.

If people moved to Connecticut back then, they might be put off by the slaughter. But since I grew up not being able to ride my bike down the street without squishing a good many tent caterpillars, it was really no big deal. If introduced early enough, the bizarre can become quite normal.

I suppose one could make the argument that, on a larger level, this principle exists for places that suffer political instability. Someone asked me about 9/11 recently and what it was like to be in New York during that time. I told her I had a difficulty with the “New Normal” and that was one of the many reasons why I moved to Texas.

She said, “Well, imagine what it’s like to live in Baghdad with all those explosions.” I reminded her that things were quite difficult in Israel as well.

I bring all this up because last night I found the freakiest bug in my room and I’m thinking that people in Texas have no idea how frightening the wildlife is here. None. I don’t know what kind of bug it was because it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It made me reconsider my independent, free-spirited, single girl persona that I have developed over the past relationship-less six years. Six years without a significant other, because my Mother taught me to be completely self-sufficient. Well, let me tell you something. I am willing reconsider my self-centered, self-indulgent life if I can find a guy who will arrive at my doorstep IMMEDIATELY to kill any and all bugs that cross my path. No attitude. No backtalk. And sex around 7 every morning.

Hope you had a Happy Valentines Day.

Best of Gasp!: Home, Home on the Range

(This entry was originally written 8/26/2003)

You know, if I had my druthers (and I don't... but if I did), I'd get the heck out of NYC and move somewhere else.

I've probably mentioned this before, but I figured this time, I'd hit it head on. I mean, NYC has definite advantages... I can pretty much go whereever I want to within the Metro area. The Parks are wonderful on the weekends, I can get Indian food for $4 off the streetcart (and it's great too!), and you can see famous people on the street whenever... I've never had to deal with the hassle of a car - either in NYC or San Francisco.

Despite this, I sometimes feel like I'm in the wrong place. Am I missing something? I've got day to day friends and enough to keep me preoccupied.

Maybe it's the terrorist attack, or the fact that I have to keep radiation (iodine) pills in my medicine cabinet. Several months after 9/11, when strangers would still talk to one another, there was plenty of discussion about what it would take to get someone out of NYC. Another attack? If so, what kind of attack? I remember someone telling me it would be the third... Three attacks and, assuming they were still alive, they were outta here.

Some days I miss the quieter life where people are more grounded, less power-centered, more spiritual, ethical etc.

At my desk, I keep an Amtrak map of the US. Sometimes I look at it and wonder what it would be like to live down South... Like, in North Carolina or even Texas. I received a flyer for Asheville in the mail - I know there are lots of healers there. It seems like a safe place, away from any threat of terrorism. People are more aware of God there, and family is important. I could be wrong, but that's what I gleam from it.

My parents retired down South. I've got friends down there. I was surprised how much I liked it, once I got past my own stereotypes on what I thought it was.

Other times I think of going to Colorado or New Mexico... Many writers end up out there and it is has lots of progressive, artsy communities. There, too, is a spirituality that NYC doesn't seem to have. My first year or two in San Francisco was spent wishing I lived in Boulder, CO. I heard such good things about that place.

The last time I crossed the country, it was on a Greyhound Bus and I stopped off at New Orleans. Though the crime is quite high, I really thought I could get into living out there. It reminded me of San Francisco, except less politically correct. What an atmosphere! But again, getting murdered isn't on my list of things to do.

The one place I don't think I could live in is Nebraska or Oklahoma. Nothing against those places... I love tornadoes but I don't want to get caught in one. How people can live with that prospect is beyond me... I think the area is beautiful though. (Most of my pics from my cross country travels are from there.) Having been through hurricanes, blizzards, earthquakes and other natural disasters, I'd say tornadoes are the worst. I've never experienced one and wouldn't want to.

I've also thought of San Francisco again (though I can't say I've really got a calling to go back), or even Boston. But Massachusetts strikes me as a good place to visit, at least for now.

Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud. You know, I questioned everything in my 20's... Religion, relationships, family, sexuality, political beliefs, values, gender roles... Everything. I really thought that once I kinda settled that stuff, I'd have the answers and then I could go on. But it seems like, as soon as I settled on what the answers were it was time to question them again.

That's why I like reading your journals. I love hearing how other people's lives are like. Life here in New York City is often so "New York-centric". There is a definite belief here that if you come from anywhere else then you are so "out of it" and that NYC is so important. It really isn't. My experience is that trends start elsewhere (usually in San Francisco - grin) and once they make it here then they are officially a "trend". As soon as they are reporting about it here in NYC, the trend has already gone.

There was a good article in the New York Times a couple of years ago when Dale Earnhardt died. The NYT was asking why the rest of the country knew who Earnhardt was and no one from NYC could identify him. "Could New Yorkers be so out of touch?" it asked. "Why do New Yorkers look down on the rest of the country? When did we become so out of touch?"

I'm not sure they were ever in touch... And I'm not sure if, at some point, I will look at this place and think of it as home. But I'm here for a reason right now and so here is where I'll be... Today.

Best of Gasp!: The Great Pantyhose Scam

(This entry originally appeared on 3/21/04_

I phoned a good friend of mine tonight because I had a problem that was bothering me.

“Hey, S… How are you doing?”
“Hey Laura. Not so well. My girlfriend died.”

She had a heart attack earlier this week. It was quite sudden and I could tell he was really devastated over it. He really loved her and as he was talking, I could tell how she really loved him. It was just a sense I got from her spirit.

After he finished telling me all about it, he asked how I was doing.

“Uh, well… I’m being scammed by a pantyhose company.”